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If you are like so many of us, too much of your time and attention is spent frustrated, exhausted, anxious, consumed with negative emotion. Overwhelmed with life, we begin to drown in our critical mind. Our inner critic; we call it the “Critical Narrator.” Fear of failure, defeat, uncertainty, anger, injustice… we focus on all the ways the world around us is not the way we want, or all the ways WE are not the way we want. In time it starts to feel harder. Whether it’s worrying about bills and money, feeling lonely or tired, unfulfilled or unsuccessful, unattractive or unworthy, things haven’t worked out the way we thought, and are afraid things will never work out the way we want. We find ourselves chasing happy. On a never-ending search for the “right” change in our circumstances to bring us that sense of happiness, peace, freedom, & fulfilment we so desperately desire.
Disheartened, anxious, unhappy and in search of relief, we turn to food, sex, alcohol, drugs, Amazon, Netflix, sports, social media, television, porn, school, a career change, love, relationships, a geographic change, or all of the above. Anything to distract from that feeling inside of it never being good enough!
The problem really stems from a combination of ignorance and evolution. We just don’t know, are never taught that the problem can only be fixed from the inside, not from the outside in!
The answer is simple. Too simple for most of us. Happiness is just a state of mind…that’s it! What that means is if you do not like the way you feel right now, or at anytime in the future, you can change it! That change though must be in the form of thoughts and emotions! Not from changing people, places and things like most of us try to do. We’re taught that circumstances are what matters. That we can’t be happy unless everything is the way that we want or think it should be. This however is not only false, but an impossible set up! All this does is create more need for things to go our way...an intolerance for things out of control. We become intolerant of everything that is not OUR way…our spouses’ “bad” habits, decisions family and friends make, the weather, slow walkers, the state of the world, traffic, annoying co-workers… in the end we deduce the only way to be happy is to go live on an island alone.
Here is the painful truth… as human beings, we cannot be happy with our circumstances unless or until we are already in a positive emotional state! A concept you are unknowingly all too familiar with. Think about it! On a bad day, does good news really make you feel good? Or does it just seem like news? On your best day, do little things bother you as much as they would on a bad day? Without writing a dissertation (which believe me I could) to explain this further, just know that your thoughts are mood dependent! What that means is what you think, the direction of your thoughts, is based on how you feel at any given moment!
At MYND MVMT we teach people how to use what we call “The 3A’s” as a way out of this vicious cycle. That is, Awareness, Alignment, & Allowing.
To begin to live your life another way takes only 3 things! It’s not complicated, but it isn’t easy either. Much like losing weight or having the body you want this takes desire, focus and discipline– the willingness to do something even when you don’t want to.
The following is a beginning. A place to get started but if you want more. We’re happy to give you that too. See below for more on how.
Step One: Get Aware
We are all stuck in negative patterns of thought and emotion. We just don’t know it. In order to really know the true nature of your biggest problem, I challenge you to take time over the next 3 days to monitor and track your inner voice. Try and notice if you are critical? Notice what you think about when you wake up? Notice what is on your mind before bed at night? Ideally jot down what you observe. Try and approach this in a playful, fun way! Non-Judgemental curiosity! Jot down whatever you find!
Step Two: Align
Find the present? Bringing your awareness to the present moment is the first step in any change process. This, right here, right now, is the only place you will ever have any power in your life. The past is gone, the future is in the future. Now, is it! It’s all you will ever have. If you do not use this moment, the RIGHT NOW, to begin to take back your life, your thoughts, and emotions – and instead choose to continue to live as a live wire- reacting to whatever you see in front of you – you will never have anything more than what you have right now…never have any more peace, freedom, joy, happiness, etc.!
Step Three: Allow
Although this one sounds like the easiest, most people find it to be the most challenging of all. Allowing literally meansallowing yourself to be happy. Can you re-wire the brain to be less critical, less punishing, less punitive, less aware of all that you think are NOT the way they “should” be, and instead laugh it off, be silly, playful…have fun again! Learn to actually enjoy your life?
Step 4: Practice
Most important of all can you begin a game. Rather than seeing life the way it is, can you play with taking a few minutes out of the day to see life the way you want it to be, rather than the way it is? Can you begin to allow yourself to reconnect with your childhood idealism. Allow yourself to tell the truth about the life you truly want most??
